Wednesday, August 20, 2008
♥ I m Dead, ony he can revive me.. ♥
Fwens, family, whoeva is reading:
I am here to pronounce my life, DEAD.
Unless he returns..
After wad happened last night,
I've decided, to become my sec 3 self again..
I shall not hide the evil side of me anymore..
I shall not allow ppl to push me around anymore..
Sorry ppl..
I have to..
M somehow forced to..
No matter how good my grades r,
No matter wad i do,
Nth seems enuff..
Therefore, i shall not make my life miserable by trying so hard,
Yet, to b complained, beat up, or wadsoeva..
I'm not gonna care..
No matter how deep, the wound or the cut may be on my skin,
I could no longer feel..
I've decided, to let go of the pain n hurt my body can take..
I do not care if the world has abandon me..
I do not care, even if i were to die now at this minute, or second..
I do not care if my results are good..
I do not care if i can make it to the director's list..
I do not care even if i'll ever b the best student or wadsoeva..
Becos..
To me, everything is materialistic..
Nothing is important to me except him..
The real me is dead..
Unless he revives it..
No matter how true the friendship is, i'm sorry..
I cant hang on.. I really cant..
"Live is like a box of chocolate" some may say..
So u may not noe wen u're getting something u dun like..
But it seem to me, that i've not got choc..
I got a box of melted cheese wif bittergourd way pass it's expiry date..
Do i have to eat them?
Cant i choose?
I tot u once said that if my results is good, u wun care if i study for my exams becos i'm well prepared?
Y go back on ur words?
Y?
I tried to make my life good by learning how to improve my results..
After improving, i tot i could get my free time playing..
But i realised, that there is no trust, no promise..
My module does include flash games..
Y did u not understand n deemed me as playing n cane me for somehow a no reason?
Y does my life suck?
DO U NOE I DO NOT CARE EVEN IF MY SKIN IS BARED AND MY FLESH IS SHOWN?
DO U NOE I DO NOT CARE EVEN IF I'M BLEEDING RITE THROUGH MY SKIN..
My Physical self is dead..
really dead..
Still, i wun do ath to save it.. Becos like i've said no matter wad i do is nv enuff..
So y bother?
All u ask is: Is tis my fault?
And all i can say is no..
If i ever say yes, is more beatings..
Do u noe y u're like tis?
U're bothered by ur mind..
Not others..
U always thinks others is bullying u...
U always thinks others look down on u..
N me, has no rite to critisize n not even the right to cry..
After exam, who would have the mood to study?
Cant u jus let me relax for a day b4 i can study again?
Now i cant even concentrate..
So y bother?
Wad scholarship wad money wad experience is not wad i wan..
I merely wan love..
If i cant get it from him, yet,
the least u can do is give me love from home..
DO U NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so FED UP..
Jus let me b..
I m DEAD..
